PayAway
PAY AWAY*
Do you unironically enjoy the YMCA song? Own a pair of rollerblades? Have you ever said "happy wife, happy life?"
PAY AWAY LEVELS
LEVEL 1 ($5): ALLEGEDLY
You're not full blown, but your actions are questionable. You once thought Oliver Anthony was a real legend...and for that you must pay.
LEVEL 2 ($10): Squirtcoin Bro
You're down big on your crypto "investments" and now you're using the term "HODL" as a serious trading strategy. You have a meme coin portfolio? Pay now.
LEVEL 3 ($20): ROLLERBLADER
You're starting to make excuses for your behavior. "Rollerblading is a practical form of transportation!" You're glitter on wheels and you know it. Pay.
LEVEL 4 ($50): JORT ENJOYER
"If you've ever worn jorts and thought, "Wow, I really enjoy feeling a crisp breeze on my upper thigh!" pay now and put the jorts back where they belong—in the closet."
LEVEL 5 ($100): THE ELTON
Full blown. Chronic. Habitual. Even Elton John would say, "That's a bit much." Are you redeemable? Only time (and a hefty Pay Away) will tell!